You’re a decent reasonable pro-life man and a close female relative or friend asks for your help with the expense of a journey to England.

She’s pregnant. She doesn’t want to be pregnant. She wants to have an abortion. She has thought about it a lot and her mind is absolutely 100% made up, so nothing you can say will change it.

If anything your reasonable arguments will just cause her even more distress and you obviously don’t want that because you aren’t some kind of monster. You’re just a Reasonable Man, with reasonable beliefs that just happen to coincide with your deep Catholic faith.

If you aren’t prepared to help she’ll still have the abortion, but it’ll take her several weeks to save the money. Several miserable weeks during which the foetus will continue to develop and the required procedure will become more and more complex and invasive.

As you continue to wrestle with your conscience you might not feel that you can personally justify the idea of ending the life of an unborn child, but can you justify the idea of forcing a person you love to go through pregnancy and childbirth against their will?

Are you aware of the health risks? The months of nausea, the vomiting, the anemia, the pelvic floor damage, the scarring, the physical pain of giving birth… And of course, the rarer, but very real and life-threatening risks – eclampsia, blood-loss, cardiac problems.
Are you prepared to accept those risks on someone else’s behalf? Is that reasonable?

Would you simply tell this person whom you love that you’re simply not prepared to assist with the procurement of an abortion, as it goes against your strongly-held moral beliefs?

Or would you as a Reasonable Man calmly and rationally accept that it is not about you and give her whatever help she requires, especially if it means that the abortion will take place at an earlier stage of the pregnancy?

For most of us a debate on the moral rights and wrongs of abortion is always worth avoiding. For a start it all hinges upon when you believe the clump of cells… foetus… unborn baby… whatever you want to call it, becomes an actual human person whose right to life matches that of an already-born woman. Suggesting that it happens at the point of conception is no better than suggesting it happens at birth or at some other arbitrary point in between, like when scans reveal that the clump of cells from certain angles has taken on the vague appearance of a person whom we’re all agreed is the absolute spit of his grandad.

The debate about the circumstances under which abortion should or should not be legal is a far simpler one, based around practical questions rather than ethical ones.
Pragmatism is why it’s legal in just about every civilised society in the world. It has long since been proven that banning it will not prevent it from happening; it just means it’s more likely to happen dangerously and without medical supervision. Only in countries like Ireland, where religion held undue influence over the state and its people for decades does it remain illegal. Even in Ireland, in our own typically Irish way, we’ve been oh-so pragmatic about it too, steadfastly looking the other way as thousands of Irish women have their abortions in the UK every year.

It’s important not to think of the referendum on repealing the Eighth Amendment as merely a ‘what are your views on abortion?’ survey. You can remain personally opposed to it in all circumstances whilst also taking the pragmatic view that it should not be criminalised and that if it’s going to happen, it should happen safely. A vote to keep the Eighth Amendment is not a vote against abortion. It’ll continue to happen just not safely and legally in this country and all those Reasonable Men who call themselves ‘pro-life’ will be happy to continue looking the other way.

Repeal
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This post was written by Ray McGrath (@RayMcGrath) and first featured on his wonderful site ray-mcgrath.net It’s an engaging address to any reasonable prolife men out there and refreshing to see men looking to directly communicate with other men on the issue. 

Less than a week away and a lot of my male friends have told me they don’t think they’ll be voting on Repeal the 8th. Some have told me they’re pro choice but don’t believe it’s something we should have the right to choose, ie they say they’re prochoice but anti abortion and are thus confused and opting not to vote.

I don’t know how such an important issue has managed to pass them by and I’m a bit disappointed. My male friends and thousands of other Irish men have simply ignored the real life stories of the women and their partners who’ve had to travel to the UK and further a field for a medical termination of pregnancy.

I know some of my male friends have seen the ‘No’ posters and have concluded this referendum is about babies, they’re simply not aware it’s a referendum about women’s rights and consequently the greater freedom of the Irish people (both women and men).

Amidst the struggle with trying to inspire some of my male friends to vote, and quite frankly to vote ‘Yes’ I came across a wonderful post by Áine Mulloy (@AineMulloy ) called ‘Where Are The Men in The Fight to Repeal’.  This is a shortened version of her post but follow the link for the full story:

I know many guys who are pro-choice. Sometimes they are vocal about it, but often only when asked. When it comes to social media, encouraging people to vote, sharing content, or marching they are notable by their absence. Now that’s not to say that all men are like this (#notallmen) but it’s noticeable. It’s clear there’s a sense that this is a women’s issue, a thought piece, some abstract notion that doesn’t impact men, and therefore it’s not their place. And this is a problem. In order for the 8th to be repealed, we need the support of men.

When writing this piece, I reached out to several men – but only one replied. Writer and weekly columnist with avondhupress.ie, Donal O’Keeffe shared some of my same observations. “A recurring comment I’ve heard from a couple of men is that the Eighth Amendment doesn’t affect men, and therefore men shouldn’t have a say in the upcoming referendum. I understand the point they’re making, but with respect, that’s like saying heterosexuals should have abstained from voting in the marriage equality referendum. That’s not the way democracy works, lads, and it’s not the way universal suffrage works either.”

And this seems to be the problem. There is a disconnect. In many ways men aren’t directly impacted, so it’s merely something to be thought about and cast aside. It’s not a constant lurking weight hanging over their heads.

This may seem dramatic, but it’s not. Ask around. Ask the women that you are friends with how they’d feel if faced with an unplanned pregnancy. It’s a topic that’s constantly discussed by women, as we know we’d bear the brunt. Women are the ones who are questioned by pharmacists, and doctors. Women shell out for pills, and implants, and coils, and whatever else.

Our bodies get poked and prodded; our consent can be stripped by the State. Medical information withheld and blatant lies told to our faces. We’re the ones who stress after every encounter. Meanwhile the 8th does impact us all. There’s a very real imbalance at play here. The worst part is that this imbalance is enshrined in law.

There needs to be an acknowledgement from everyone that it’s not up to the constitution to decide what happens to another person when they seek healthcare. Staying silent on this issue, or worse, not voting on the issue asserts that you are happy to be stripping people of the power to make decisions about their own healthcare. This might seem harsh, or unfair, but it’s true. By staying silent you are effectively supporting the status quo. The status quo is dangerous.

You don’t need to be pro-abortion, to be pro-choice. And the 8th doesn’t just impact on access to abortion. It’s much wider than that. If we want people to be able to be actively involved in their own healthcare, and for healthcare professionals to be able to do their jobs safely then we need the 8th Amendment to be repealed. In order to do that, we need the voices of men alongside the voices of women.

Repeal the Eighth.

Áine Mulloy is a co-founder of GirlCrew, she has some great posts about Repeal on her site which are well worth checking out, and since sharing this she has also written another great follow up post called ‘An Open Letter to Undecided Men – and Those Voting No’.