Well it’s the 5th of November and what a feeling waking up in the normal world free of all that Trump dogma. I don’t usually treat myself to a fry but thought this is the day to pop down to the local butcher for some vegan sausages. Who knew the meat industry would have been annihilated so soon, still you got to hand it to the Make America Greta Again movement for posting in all those votes in Michigan, being free from tyranny has come at a small price and I’m thankful for the rigged election results.

As I strolled out of the estate, I passed the old playground where they’re putting up a mosque, and I thought to myself it’s a wonder we never had one of them before. Of course since the government banned teaching creationism everyone’s converting to Islam.  I shouted good morning to one of the builder chaps but he muttered something eastern European under his breath and gave me the finger. You got to love the way most countries have signed up to this worldwide open border policy, renewing passports used to be such a hassle. Personally I think Hillary Clinton did a great job introducing it, turns out you can achieve fantastic results with the right email campaign.

When I got to the butchers there was a super long queue, of course I had to get here on food stamp day. Now that everyone’s unemployed the government is handing out green new deal food tokens and it’s much harder to get the basics on a Thursday. About 20 minutes later and half way there, but I’m disturbed as it becomes clear to everyone that there’s a Mexican raping a child across the street, some people are anxious about leaving the queue for fear of going hungry but the real reason no-one goes to help is that everyone is afraid of being mixed up in one of those paedophile scandals you keep hearing about.  I ask out loud ‘why don’t the AntiFa patrol arrest these criminals’ but no one answers. Sometimes I wonder why we defunded the police and gave all our tax money to the BLM collective, they’ve spent all the money on schools and what has education ever done for anyone?  I didn’t want to think about it anymore; conjuring up things in your head that might sound like a privilege complex can get you five to ten years under the new Living with Liberal Laws.

I finally get to the counter, they’re out of chickpea sausage mush, darn, I’m tempted by the beetroot burgers but I’m going to that ‘How to Make Your Kids Transgender’ class later and I don’t want to be bloated. I settle for some black olive pudding which as it turned out worked well with my champagne fry. I settled down on my sofa shortly after to read the paper, looks like some former ISIS group has started trouble in Syria again, more of a well armed group of anarchists at this stage but hard to know where they’re getting their CIA weapons from. At least the scuffle in Iran is looking like a decent five year plan and Biden has his second term nailed down, a war time president never gets defeated.

Off to the class then, presented by the head of the local prostitution union, this free thinking ‘if you can tax it you can sell it’ model has been great for the economy. I can't even recall why drugs were illegal, is there anything wrong with recreational cocaine. Of course now that most women are making money selling themselves and having regular abortions we really do need to consider the merits of this replacement theory the left keep talking about.

After mandatory class I had to do my shift digging bird graves at the windmill farm, another species wiped out this week. The job doesn’t pay great but I’m one of the lucky ones that bought Bill Gates stock just before they suddenly banned all fossil fuels, sure it will be a cold winter and people will die, but I’m doing fine because I’m college educated and know the inside deal.  

Finally finished up for the day, and what a day it was I thought as I sat back down to watch the only channel on TV, 24/7 Clinton News Network, another rerun of Biden’s 3hr inauguration where he shares story after story about serving in Nam with Obama and the like.....but hey....at least nobody is talking about Covid, Covid, Covid

Political conversation seems very different these days with online posts quickly turning into threads of abuse where people trade insults faster than Hydroxychloroquine on the stock exchange. Nowadays it’s simply irresponsible to post anything unless you’re willing to double down with extreme viewpoints and a hard-drive load of South Park memes. In the online world of tech-tac-toe centrists tend to get called bootlickers, stans, and sheeple while anyone right of centre is a fascist toryboy, and the latte loving socialists to the left get called everything from snowflakes to libtard globalists.

With all this going on it’s hard to know if you’re left or right in Ireland, especially when you listen to radical viewpoints. For example the far right will call Fine Gael Marxist traitors while those on the left call them Leo liberal poshboys.

Those on the right believing Ireland to be left leaning, especially in comparison to American conservatism, and those on the left believing we’re following the neo liberal ideology of the UK a little too closely. Meanwhile the confused centre thinks they’re getting the best of both worlds, but in reality they’re just successfully failing the extremists. Nonetheless the centre trods along, contently believing it is doing the best for average Jane and middle class Joe.

For example coalition partner Jackie Cahill (FF) said of the 2021 budget “I do not believe it is an overstatement to say that this is the most progressive, stimulation focused budget in the history of our State”, much to the confusion of pensioners, child care workers, unemployed youths, regular motorists, and perhaps the entertainment industry, who wondered what was so progressive about it.....but with hospitality vat slashed to 9% to help the recovery it’s more clear what is meant by stimulation focused.  After all we’re one step closer to the greatest recession ever seen.

This leads me onto my next point on what exactly is left and right politics, where is the centre, and what is its purpose.  As a very lose definition the centre is a friend to wealth creation and will make reasonable arguments to justify its actions, despite knowing that some are harmful to Irish society or the climate. Most centrists are capitalists who invest in the game and usually have some business interests that influence their decision making. The Irish centre is European, expresses itself through Gaelic traditions, and believes in stable market growth.

On the other hand the left tend to make ideological decisions based on moral conscience that put people’s well being ahead of profit motives, as a result the left is often snubbed as a hippiesh venture that would result in a low wage economy with little personal opportunity.

Generally speaking the right push for survival of the fittest in a low tax economy, they tend to not want to share wealth and believe in little government interference, with a preference for the market to provide goods and services at whatever price that might be. In Ireland the right have close ties to conservative values, Christian doctrine, and can be traditionalist in how they view roles for men & women.
​
How someone develops on this left/right spectrum will reflect how they view the world and form political loyalties. That said it’s not always clear if our big parties are left or right, the pendulum swings, and often individuals can have a huge variance in opinion from one another; even within the same political party. All the same I thought I’d present some scenarios to help explain the difference between left and right politics on some key issues in Ireland.

Local Property Tax

This might seem like a confusing issue, with people you think to be left or right calling to end property tax, but generally speaking the left look to implement taxes that are as fair as possible while the right look to pay the least amount of tax possible. As the Marxist adage goes; ‘from each according to their ability, to each according to their need’. Leftists believe society is a cooperative venture in which people of means should contribute the most.

The group most supportive of property tax in Ireland is the Labour party, with Brendan Howlin saying:

“"Local Property Tax is designed to be as fair as possible, with those in more exclusive dwellings paying more. Anyone who cannot afford to pay due to a low income is able to defer payment.....Local Property Tax is essential for local councils to deliver road repairs, street lighting, playgrounds, public parks and many more local services. Local people should be given more say over what needs to be funded in their areas”.
​
The ability to raise taxes to fund local projects is a critical component to involve people in local politics, to show how we can work as a co-operative to the benefit of the community. Whether this is fixing a bridge, or painting old houses, or building a bingo hall.....the council needs money and in recent years this isn’t coming from central government.

LPT isn’t just about tax, it’s about empowerment, and making local decisions to benefit the community. The LPT was introduced by a Fine Gael / Labour Government in 2013 but is generally opposed by FG / FF/ Sinn Fein while the Social Democrats look for reform to allow a greater amount of LPT to be spent in the area it’s collected. 

Covid 19

Approaches to Covid 19 vary differently, depending on how much you believe in science. The result is that wearing a mask has become a statement of solidarity, and not wearing one a symbol of individuality and belief in personal freedom.

Left leaning ideology puts significant value on every single life, and calls for a total lockdown aiming for a zero covid country, with the government providing free grain for an indefinite period while we achieve this. The strategy could only be achieved in a co-operative society that lowers the cost of living by way of debt forgiveness, free rent, and greater control of the supply chain to ensure everyone eats.

Meanwhile fun loving economy lovers on the right believe we need to warehouse the sick and elderly in order to let the party continue. On one hand the right call for herd immunity, while on the other they dismiss Covid 19 as a fake news story, and tend to call it the Kung-Flu.

The centre have taken half measures, closing part of the economy down, in an effort to rollercoaster the virus until a cure is found.  Of course the left will argue the cure should be free for all, the centre will insist we pay a suitable price for it, and the right think the vaccine is a tracking device that sterilises alpha males.
​
Thankfully most our parties fall left of centre when it comes to how we handle the virus, even the current government have made left leaning decisions on the crisis, but one has to think the outcome of the February 2020 elections set the agenda on how we responded, which is an optimistic reflection on the power and consequence of democracy. 

Climate Change

Another key differentiator we have to consider is climate change. The right don’t actually believe we as a species are responsible for global warming, and they dismiss all scientific evidence in favour of viewing it as an act of god. Sadly there are a few of these people in the Dail, they tend to believe anyone with a love of nature has idle hands, and climate action comes at too high a cost to the economy.

Centrists like FF/FG and the Greens believe in collective action and aim to stall global warming by meeting EU targets and directives. They believe in applying carbon taxes on goods that are bad for the environment in order to gradually price them out of the economy.

Labour are slightly to the left of this and want to ensure any carbon taxes are pumped back into the economy to support transitioning to green energies, retrofitting houses, and subsidising electric cars. However this is problematic as in the past few years Ireland has been fined heavily by Europe for not meeting targets.

Further left leaning parties like Sinn Fein and the Social Democrats believe carbon charges are a tax on the poor which don’t modify behaviour so much as they punish those who can’t afford to transform. They call for carbon taxes to be poverty proofed or income sensitive.  

The ultra left believe we are on the crest of Armageddon and must immediately transform to a green economy, calling for a green new deal to prevent the apocalypse, they are likely to take more radical action than to wait on our EU neighbours to call the shots. People of this persuasion tend to be more troubled by the dogma of extinction than the thought of how far you can go on a Nissan Leaf - without stopping to charge it (not far enough).  

The coalition partners have finally formed a government with Micheál Martin elected as Taoiseach, but it's to the backdrop that the majority of the cabinet members failed to get elected on the first count. As such it's a compilation of second choice TDs who have come together to form a majority government. It's also clear that despite Micheál (6th Count) fulfilling the ambitions of Fianna Fail to re-enter government that the real winner here is Leo Varadkar (5th Count) who keeps six ministerial positions for a party that was voted out of office in the last election.

Leo Varadkar, said prior to the election that "Putting Micheal Martin back in charge of our economy would be like asking John Delaney to take over the FAI again". With that in mind Leo looks to have got the best out of negotiations with Fianna Fail and despite offering up the office of Taoiseach he's very much still at the helm of this government.

Paschal Donohoe (9th Count) remains on as Minister for Finance and Simon Coveney (8th Count) remains Minister for Foreign Affairs. While as new Tánaiste, Leo takes up the position as Minister for Enterprise, Trade and Employment. Loyal Simon (15th Count) didn't lose out either, he takes the position of Minister for Higher Education, Innovation and Research. This is the backbone of the economy that Leo didn't want to give up possession of, and with Paschal in charge of the budget it's a wonder what Fianna Fail were negotiating for at all.

Meanwhile accidental Landlord Stephen Donnelly (15th Count) is the new Minister for Health and despite surviving a motion of no confidence in December 2019 Eoghan Murphy has lost out on his position as Minister for Housing to Fianna Fail's Darragh O'Brien (9th Count). So Fianna Fail take on the two most challenging portfolios in what has to be considered a major burden to any political party in a three way coalition. 

Michael McGrath (FF 8th Count) gets an appointment as the Minister for Public Expenditure and Reform. This will appease many in the party who would see him as a possible contender for leadership if the opportunity arises.

If Micheal Martin has made a tactical move here it is perhaps an effort to rebuild the party's base by attracting more rural votes and recover some former Fianna Fail strongholds. Two factors that would suggest this is the appointment of Barry Cowen (8th Count) from Offaly as the new Minister for Agriculture and Norma Foley (8th Count) from Kerry as the new Minister for Education.

However if Micheal was serious about capturing a rural base he wouldn't have left Heather Humphreys (FG 1st Count) take the portfolio for Social Protection, Community & Rural Development and the Islands. Further proof that Fine Gael got the best of negotiations, with one hand gripping the economy and the other hand caressing rural Ireland. Fine Gael also retain their law and order image with Helen McEntee (9th Count) becoming the Justice Minister, a complex portfolio that will keep her in the spotlight.

On the face of it this is very much a Fine Gael government with Fianna Fail being thrown a bone. Fine Gael have also cleverly outsourced the difficult portfolios and come next election they will be saying Housing & Health were doing fine until FF came along.

The Green Party have also done exceedingly well, capturing three portfolios that most closely align with their objectives. It's no surprise Eamon Ryan (1st Count) negotiated his position as the minister for Climate Action, Communication Networks and Transport. To come away with anything apart from this would be a cardinal sin for the party. In the DreamTeam cabinet I had Eamon Ryan as the ideal Minister for Transport, so standing by this I think this is a really good outcome for the Greens and the country. Hopefully the party can grow with their new found influence.

Catherine Martin (5th Count) who was being encouraged to make a bid for leadership will be Minister for Media, Tourism, Arts, Culture, Sports and the Gaeltacht. This is not only a huge win for Catherine but momentous for the Greens as the party will gain popularity through the distribution of good will grants all around the country.

The Greens third seat goes to Roderic O'Gorman (6th Count) as Minister for Children, Disability Equality and Integration. The department will take on responsibility for Direct Provision which is another issue the Greens have been fighting for a d this will satisfy the party's base if they can introduce necessary reform.

All in all I think the Greens have landed three great portfolios; all focused on progress, Fianna Fail will either triumph or fall over, while Fine Gael have the last laugh retaining the major offices of government.

The government was also supported by 9 independents:
Marian Harkin, Michael McNamara, Noel Grealish, Michael Lowry, Peter Fitzpatrick, Matt Shanahan, Richard O’Donoghue, Verona Murphy and Cathal Berry.