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President Joe Biden

11/4/2020

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Uncle Joe might not always say the right thing but he’s not likely to chastise the basket of deplorables either, no he’s too composed to be making comments that could lose him the election. He’s also got those lethargic moments which makes him seem harmless and endearing, or at the very least you know he’s not going to erratically start World War 3 with Iran.  
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Joe is your average guy, you’d have a pint with him down the local, he loves ice cream, aviators, and Amtrak. Most important of all he’s not under investigation by the FBI. So he’s got a lot of people appeal. 
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Now the other thing is that people say Trump is unbeatable but the truth is not everything has been going Trumps way. You could argue that the longer Trump’s presidency went on the more votes he lost, and there are no new Trump votes. As a quick reminder of some of his actions; he started a trade war with China that resulted in American farmers losing their fourth largest export market, he shut down the government to try build a wall on the Mexican border, and he tried to bribe the Ukraine to plant some dirt on Uncle Joe which resulted in his own impeachment trial.
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When we look back at the 2016 election another shocking statistic is that Trump won 18 states by less than 250,000 votes. In fact if Hilary received a shift of less than 80,000 votes in Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin she would have won the election. I’d question if the Trump rally will bring out as many voters this time around. Two other swing states Trump won in 2016 are Florida & North Carolina and Biden is polling well in these states also. What this boils down to is a very competitive race, it’s hard to say who will win but it’s possible for Joe to win. I think the bookies know this too and as they’ve got a bit nervous about the blue wave in the swing states. 
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It almost appears as if Joe can win this election just by not being Hillary Clinton, but he can also win hands down if people are tired of Trump’s New America, or if enough people just want to move back to normality and put the deplorables back in their basket. So sure Joe can win because even if he's not the president America deserves he’s most definitely the one they need right now and that should be enough to swing the election.  
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Covid Convalescence

4/4/2020

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As I burrowed through Wikipedia I discovered that Bahnsen once said "man is merely a nothing with self awareness", and so began my Covid existential crisis, in what was otherwise an unimaginable period of feriation.

In that very moment I received a notification on my Twitter feed which said "We are the virus". I don't know if I had a mild panic attack when I realised the truth in this or if instead I had Corona light and nearly died. Either way I'm not likely to see a doctor until 2025.

What's happening right now is one of the strangest events in human history and yet it seems hyper normal. In the old days people saw pestilence as one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse but our generation has taken it as an opportunity to complete Tik Tok, Netflix, and Candy Crush. I've a cousin who's spent the last two weeks categorising his favourite dance acts from America's Got Talent.

So at a time like this when our grandparents would have been worrying about poverty, food shortages, and inevitable death we're more concerned about when the pubs will be re-opening and what's coming up next on daytime tv. Either through middle class complacency or the optimism of modern life we're perfectly content to wait Covid out.

Yes indeed, the end is far from nigh despite a worldwide pandemic gripping every nation on earth. In what could have been an anarchist's wet dream, we have instead developed a global staycation that's allowed people to discover vodka cheese, tonic wine, and the female eunuch.

Despite this all of our lives are changing right now as a result of international self isolation. I for one have taken to watching You Tube tutorials on how to cut my own hair, and I doubt I'll be paying for a haircut ever again. I can see a future without hair salons and cornershop barbers. There will be many more changes I'm sure, from the way we shop to the way we work, to the way we death stare someone who coughs in our general direction.

At the end of all this many of us will be able to say that instead of thinking about death, Covid 19 brought us a new way of thinking about life. Whether that means you're using zoom to connect with loved ones, talking to Jesus, or recycling your milk cartons, it doesn't really matter. The outcome is that you stopped to smell the roses and thought about your life for thirty seconds. Maybe someone will discover its meaning.

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