In that very moment I received a notification on my Twitter feed which said "We are the virus". I don't know if I had a mild panic attack when I realised the truth in this or if instead I had Corona light and nearly died. Either way I'm not likely to see a doctor until 2025.
What's happening right now is one of the strangest events in human history and yet it seems hyper normal. In the old days people saw pestilence as one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse but our generation has taken it as an opportunity to complete Tik Tok, Netflix, and Candy Crush. I've a cousin who's spent the last two weeks categorising his favourite dance acts from America's Got Talent.
So at a time like this when our grandparents would have been worrying about poverty, food shortages, and inevitable death we're more concerned about when the pubs will be re-opening and what's coming up next on daytime tv. Either through middle class complacency or the optimism of modern life we're perfectly content to wait Covid out.
Yes indeed, the end is far from nigh despite a worldwide pandemic gripping every nation on earth. In what could have been an anarchist's wet dream, we have instead developed a global staycation that's allowed people to discover vodka cheese, tonic wine, and the female eunuch.
Despite this all of our lives are changing right now as a result of international self isolation. I for one have taken to watching You Tube tutorials on how to cut my own hair, and I doubt I'll be paying for a haircut ever again. I can see a future without hair salons and cornershop barbers. There will be many more changes I'm sure, from the way we shop to the way we work, to the way we death stare someone who coughs in our general direction.
At the end of all this many of us will be able to say that instead of thinking about death, Covid 19 brought us a new way of thinking about life. Whether that means you're using zoom to connect with loved ones, talking to Jesus, or recycling your milk cartons, it doesn't really matter. The outcome is that you stopped to smell the roses and thought about your life for thirty seconds. Maybe someone will discover its meaning.