I’ve never really understood online dating, the way I see it is that you’ve a bunch of people who have all failed to establish a relationship in the offline world, often referred to as reality, gathering together in the ether with the mutual agenda of establishing a relationship. With everyone in this virtual room having the same goal it’s easy for dating sites to boast success, as ultimately relationships will form in this tightly controlled game theory experiment, whereby it’s in everyone’s best interest to find a date so long as they co-operate with one another and admit that they have failed to construct a positive relationship in the offline world. Thus they mutually overcome the stigma attached to being online and make some awkward small talk followed by some chat about what they do in their free time, which they have a lot of because after all they are alone. Once feelings of loneliness have been established the two test subjects come to a realisation that their negative emotions have subsided as a result of their brief dos based companionship and then they are ready to meet in public, usually over a drink so as that they can overcome any additional anxiety with the use of alcohol and perhaps blame any abnormal flirting techniques on the toxin.
Now online dating calls this a success, but does the relationship hold any integrity and what happens if the relationship breaks down?
For the latter part of this question these relationships can be detrimental to the individual if they break down, for after all the person has already ruled themselves out of the offline dating community and sought refuge in .com land where they’ve now tasted failure and have been left with a feeling of lost hope, all the feelings of a normal breakup perhaps but on a rollercoastered online version. Without hope of finding a meaningful relationship and after lowering their self esteem by visiting lastchance online, they’ve basically created a relationship vacuum where love can never exist. The only thing that will return the individual to the dating scene is if they have a strong enough bias to believe they will not live alone.
For the online relationships that do last we must question if they hold any integrity. Obviously the individuals concerned still have an under lining fear of failure, for instance if the relationship hits a rough patch are the two individuals going to be brave enough to walk away, return to their previous world of loneliness, let’s not forget it’s in the test subjects best interests to find compromise and maintain the relationship no matter how bad it may become. So for this reason it’s worth questioning the integrity of the success of any online relationship, as it may not be based on things you would expect to find in a real life relationship, things like mutual love may not be as prevalent as individual fear of failure.
Now online dating calls this a success, but does the relationship hold any integrity and what happens if the relationship breaks down?
For the latter part of this question these relationships can be detrimental to the individual if they break down, for after all the person has already ruled themselves out of the offline dating community and sought refuge in .com land where they’ve now tasted failure and have been left with a feeling of lost hope, all the feelings of a normal breakup perhaps but on a rollercoastered online version. Without hope of finding a meaningful relationship and after lowering their self esteem by visiting lastchance online, they’ve basically created a relationship vacuum where love can never exist. The only thing that will return the individual to the dating scene is if they have a strong enough bias to believe they will not live alone.
For the online relationships that do last we must question if they hold any integrity. Obviously the individuals concerned still have an under lining fear of failure, for instance if the relationship hits a rough patch are the two individuals going to be brave enough to walk away, return to their previous world of loneliness, let’s not forget it’s in the test subjects best interests to find compromise and maintain the relationship no matter how bad it may become. So for this reason it’s worth questioning the integrity of the success of any online relationship, as it may not be based on things you would expect to find in a real life relationship, things like mutual love may not be as prevalent as individual fear of failure.
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