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King Puck: Or how I Learned to Stop Worrying and Hoist The Goat

11/8/2022

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It's a three day pilgrimage full of music, horse trading, and underage drinking. Long before there was an electric picnic there was puck fair, before TK max it was the only place in Ireland you could get cheap tracksuits. If you wander around the right stalls you'll find cartons of cigarettes and knock off Rolexes far superior to the ones you'd get in Dubai.

To some it's a pagan festival, to others its an obscure tale about how Killorglin Town defeated the Cromwellian army.

At the centre of it all is a hardy goat, crowned as the town king and married to a thirteen year old girl to complete the ceremony. Hoisted on a pedestal to oversee all the glory of Killorglin, the cattle on the street, the lights from the big wheel that illuminate the night, the pickocketers making their harvest. He overhears all the various human songs, every rumour, every laugh, the roars of the crowd, the drunken fights. The wisdom he takes back to his tribe must be invaluable to the herd.

There is a timeless nature to this festival, deep rooted in Ireland's agrarian history. It takes place in a townland that allows wild animals to roam the landscape almost freely, in this case the goats often share farmland and roadsides with the locals. There is a love of wildlife and nature in Killorglin. That connection is strengthened by the temporary capture of the puck goat in my opinion. It connects the town with the surrounding hillsides, it becomes part of their dna, puck is what it means to be from Killorglin, and no one is taking that away from them.

There has been some nonsensical criticism of the festival in recent years. I'm not sure who all these people are but I presume that they're not all vegan warriors. Plant diet extremists aside, regular people need a reality check on where their food comes from, on a par the goat is very well handled and cared for.

From an evolutionary standpoint goats love climbing, they love being up high. No one can actually see the goat on the pedestal, he's too far above the crowd. The platform is not for the spectacle of the visiting traveler, it's for the love of the goat. Having king puck in a pin on the ground, subject to countless Instagram photoshoots and being groomed by every passer by would be far more damaging to his well being, and not very royal at all I might add.

Most of the cancel culture mob is targeting an event they've never been too. Some shout about animal welfare without changing anything in their own lives. Some people frame progress in terms of breaking traditions. The only people in this mob without double standards are the goat owning vegans who do not profiteer from their herbivore buddies, but everyone else is anti-craic, overly opinionated, and quite frankly too urbanised to appreciate what's going on.

Long live puck, hoist him up.
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Clown Opinions

8/8/2022

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Many years ago, long before I was blocked by him, I was listening to the Niall Boylan show. There was a (skewed) debate on Trans rights which segued into Niall retelling a story he heard about a person who didn't identify as a human. This person had performed several body modifications to become an alien, which Niall summised as being a mental illness suffered by this individual.

Apart from a potential Space Jam audition I'm not sure why someone would want to become an alien but I also say live and let live, it doesn't bother me, and if there is a condition I would say its probably more artistic than mentally unstable. People are complex and being different doesn't mean you have a mental health condition.

Perhaps this is a rather straight forward analogy that most people can easily reckon with because it's comfortable absurd, and aliens don't compete in sports events without the presence of bugs bunny.

Presently there is a big push to recognise trans people and establish trans rights. While the underlying ideology that trans people should have equal rights and seamlessly live their lives, there is however a problematic issue when it comes to sporting events, and once again this came into the limelight over the weekend when the Sunday Independent covered a story that was already widespread on social media. That of course being that Na Gaeil Aeracha fielded a trans player in the Dublin Junior J Shield football final.

Without getting sidetracked too much I just want to point out that junior is the level of play and not an age category, despite the level of misinformation out there.

What's problematic here is that the LGFA have no rules on the participation of trans players, whereas other sporting bodies do. For instance the International Olympic Committee have a policy on diversity and inclusion and has several terms that trans athletes must meet to ensure a level playing field. Again not to get side tracked on what's fair right now, but my point is to establish that sporting bodies/associations have a responsibility to set the rules of their game and if you want to play you have to follow the rules.

While I admire Na Gaeil for having an LGBTQ+ policy I think perhaps they were premature in starting a player that didn't meet the current set of rules. I'm not sure what work the club had done with the LGFA when they introduced their policy, but I wouldn't be surprised to see them stripped of their silverwear as a result of this. That perhaps, as a team, is something they're willing to sacrifice to progress the game, trans rights, and the culture of their club.

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