Looking back over 90’s movies with special effects can sometime be cringe to the point of being unbearable but Alita helps us forget the time before CGI by seamlessly integrating computer generated characters with regular old movie stars. I now believe that robot children and Hollywood A-listers can finally live side by side without developing into a messy lawsuit years later.

Alita Battle Angel is a CGI master class that changes the face of entertainment in the same way Avatar did back in 2009.  This film is the 21st century equivalent of ballet, its peak entertainment and there is a whole lot more to come as a result. This film showcases CGI being integrated in perfect harmony with traditional cinema, prepare to enter a fantasy world without even noticing.

Alita holds a great storyline, it feels more like a limited series in the sense that it’s not rushed together or chasing towards an impossible ending. There are plenty of characters to like and hate which helps give a sense of depth and reality to the movie, while also introducing elements of comic book seduction much like Sin City did. There are also plenty of different areas of interest in IronCity, it’s a wonderful landscape all by itself, from the streets to the underground, from the Sky City to the badland lakes. There are also dark elements to this wonderful city from sinister Hunter Warriors, to body part collectors, and characters driven by self interest regardless of cost.

The cyborg Alita begins her reawakening as a child android on a path to self discovery. Thirty minutes in and she’s into adolescent phase discovering bad boys, motorball, and chocolate which adds to the humour of the film. It also develops into a cute love story which makes you wonder if Twitter bots are all that bad, can humans love automated intelligence, is there room for botboyfriends in the real world? This film holds the answer to that question.

What makes this movie so intriguing is how you get drawn into caring for the young robot with  android eyes and a human brain, ultimately Alita is a relatable character, more so than say Scarlet Johansson’s attempt at playing robot consciousness in Ghost in the Shell, similar concept, one clear winner. Alita has such a hidden history that we only get to discover the tip of the iceberg in this installment, I can only imagine there will be sequels and prequels to dive into this fantasy world in years to come, this could very well be a universe to potentially match the Star Wars realm and it might just be time to hang up your lightsaber.

The best thing that can be said about this movie is that it is literally a film for everyone, there is nobody on this green earth that could possibly dislike it, it’s an action packed righteousness adventure where dog lovers triumph and bad guys get punished. Alita not only has a human heart but also has a touch of soul that resonates with everyone. This is one film you shouldn’t miss if you’re emotionally ready for the future of cinema, the technology is here and it may very well be the perfect time to remake “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” as well as opening up the real potential of visual entertainment like you never imagined possible. 

I like Daisy Ridley as the face of the new star wars trilogy, she’s very proper, reminds me of Keira Knightley but if Keira Knightley did weights and couldn’t act so good, in that sense she reminds me of Arnie, or Sylvester Stallone, or Grace Jones, but what she lacks in delivery she more than makes up with force and perfect elocution.

But brawn acting aside this is the most star wars Star Wars movie to date. It’s an epic, unmissable adventure full of plot twists, space battles and lightsabre clashes.

It continues to borrow closet characters, movie sets, and plot points from the original trilogy, however that does add to the feel of the star wars universe, and I think The Last Jedi has recovered from a lot of the mistakes of its predecessor The Force Awakens. 

One example is Kylo Ren removing the mask to mature from bad boy to Sith dark lord with a heart of pure evil. There are moments when shivers will run down your spine at the site of him on screen. The creation of a dark force is a real accomplishment in this instalment, not seen since Anakin went loco at the Jedi kid party in ‘Revenge of The Sith’.

A really odd point is that there are quite a few references to snuffing people out, at first I thought it might be some kind of Nicholas Cage reference but then Carrie Fisher takes a dive in the deep black and the whole cinema is stunned into silence, but just as the dark force awakens so does the light and we learn about a whole new dimension of Jedi abilities and mind tricks.

The expansion of Jedi skills is both creative and entertaining; there are further examples of how the force works and some really great scenes demonstrating the full extent of the new force (the norce) in action. Disney superstar Daisy Rey is very keen to find out about the norce and picks up from where she left off; on a yoga retreat in County Kerry learning about becoming a Jedi in three easy lessons. However after lesson two Daisy Rey faces a crossroads when Chewbacca turns Vegan and she has to make a decision before everyone turns full namaste. Finding the balance between dark and hormones Rey rushes off to fight the First Order by herself resulting in a face-off with the mysterious Supreme Leader Snoke.

Snoke is basically the Emperor, but with the lack of a back story, a larger army, more loyal apprentices, stronger powers, and a much creepier voice, like Snoke is definitely into some weird stuff.

Meanwhile back on prayer island Luke is singing songs to the Star Wars puffins (Porgs) & learning how to become one with the Matrix.

There is a lot happening in this movie and it’s got a finger in a lot of different pies across the universe, there are some preachy lessons about how weapons are sold in mass conflicts, about how egomaniacs make poor decisions, and about how disposable life outside the Empire really is.

The mantra of the movie appears to be ‘out with the old’, a message that Star Wars is evolving for a new generation perhaps, with new characters and new adventures. The revolution has begun and it’s about to get a whole lot bigger with even more inconsequential destruction and mass scale murder that neither makes any sense or makes you feel like there is any purpose to your insignificant existence.  
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All that aside if you want to see Jedi fights and space battles what are you waiting for. May the force be with you.

The year is 2049, there is the real world and the outer world, separated by a wall, presumably built by America and paid for by Mexico. Global warming has not been kind; LA is in the year of winter powered by the perpetually sunny state of California which has been covered in stunning solar panel towers. There is a shortage of crops but we still have cigarettes as tobacco fields are both an important part of American GDP and a great way to make someone look bad ass in the movies.

If this film is in any way a prediction of the future it’s good to know that technology gets way out of hand, also buy Mitsubishi shares now, diversify portfolio with Coca-Cola and sex bots.

On a side note I once read that after Return Of The Jedi, George Lucas held back on making any more Star Wars movies until the technology was right. That might also be fitting of Blade Runner. The film just can’t fail to disappoint, visually it’s stunning, with its vast landscapes, baron city ruins, fallout zones, mega cities, and technological fantasy.

Blade Runner also captures a complex and obscure dystopian future featuring child slavery, android servitude, and a macho world of sexual obscenity not too dissimilar to Duke Nukem’s Land Of The Babes. Technologically there is a lot to take in, from the delights of hover cars to mainstream JOI companionship, in 2049 Joi is a robot hologram who will risk everything in the pursuit of syphilis. One bit of technology that stood out was the 4D TV’s, I mention as Back To The Future also predicted them so I’m thinking it’s only a matter of time folks.

The plot is enjoyable, it neatly works on its predecessor’s mind melt that people can’t guarantee that they're human because memories are implanted faster than the NSA can access your webcam but it adds a twist with Replicants urging to be recognised as equals, and you get the sense that the Replicants are gearing up for a Hunger Games style conflict sooner or later.

The Replicant’s call to war comes with the discovery of a child born of Replicant descent. So basically this is the plot from Orphan Black, a child born from a clone gets hunted down by an evil corporation so that they can do testing on its genetic structure or something.

However unlike Orphan Black there is less logic behind the corporations motivations to recover the child, for instance if they really wanted to produce well behaved drones then reproduction might not be the best way of doing it, on the premise that you have more genetic uncertainties and less control over production and data analysis.  Also it seems as if Mr Wallace has created a technology which has garnered him huge wealth and he's left looking a bit like a one dimensional super villain suffering from a god complex, with very weak motivations and a lack of depth. 

Ms Luv also fails to use the company’s firepower to wipe out K which makes it feel a bit like a weak Bond movie at times because you never feel like he is in critical danger and the one question you come away with is why at any point in this movie wasn’t K killed when he could have been.

The LAPD leader is like the love child of Theresa May and Mariano Rajoy and her motivations to quell rebellion before it kicks off a referendum are a bit easier to understand. This makes the plot a bit more tangible and if the corporations motivations were a bit meatier this film would have a more complete feel about it.

Blade Runner also attempts to raise familiar questions in AI SciFi such as when is an android considered equal to a human, when does AI start to think for itself, can AI feel real emotion and if so does such emotion relate to independent thought. With that in mind, despite the weak plot points, Blade Runner offers total escapism into a bizarre world, worth seeing for the innovative technologies, abstract ideas and stunning landscapes.
 
The cover art for this post is by @JamesJeanArt

If you’re a creationist you may or may not love this movie, depending on how out of touch with reality you actually are. If by chance you’re a semi-recreational believer in a debunked theory that god and the snow elves made Christmas in seven days which means the earth is approximately 6,000 years old then you might enjoy the theological aspects of the movie, along with its exploration of how something can exist where nothing once dwelled. On the other hand if you’re a hard core everyday creationist this might take you over the edge into believing that baby Groot is the second coming of Jesus and Sylvester Stalone is a reincarnated John the Baptist.

I thought I’d just get that out of the way, you have been warned.

Guardians Vol 2 has to be judged by its own merits, and by that I mean it has to rigorously stand up to the standards set by the first, which in my opinion it does quite nicely. It’s a very funny movie with a soundtrack to match the original. The characters are all very unique and if you’re discovering them for the first time you’ll enjoy their Marvel abilities and quirky sense of humour, not too unlike Deadpool if one was to look for a comparison.

There are some awful bits of course, the constant relationship whinging, some implausible action scenes, the annoying storyline in which every character seems to have parenting issues, gold raced space pilots who can’t fly spaceships, and an ending so unbearably cheesy that it made me think the movie was completely ruined, but I projectile vomited and remembered this movie was for the creationists and I shouldn’t judge them for their stupidity.

What this film does very well is open with an action scene, shot from the musical perspective of the Baby Groot, who continues to bring some adorable and hysterical scenes throughout. There are some gritty space deaths, emotional outbursts (not Stalone’s one but other ones), and enough rocket moments to make this an entertaining movie, all in all it stacks up as a great cinema experience with stunning visuals and great characters.  As a marvel space movie it’s worth a watch, even if you are of scientific mind, just ignore the usual ignorance for the laws of gravity and don’t be too concerned about the wholesale alien interbreeding by the universe’s most god like Caucasian male who just wants to bond with his chosen son, who just so happens to be American, it’s a coincidence, the universe is a big place anything could happen, infinite possibilities, somewhere there could be a universe where the earth is actually no more than 6000 years.....no wait scrap that thought....that’s still irrational.
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I am Groot  

The last time I was so conflicted about watching a sequel was when Donnie Darko 2 hit the cinemas...you want another taste of greatness but fear that the original story will be diluted and the sense of intrigue will disappear, which unfortunately is what happened when Samantha took the baton to save the universe.

However trainspotting 2 has stayed true to the original and succeeds on extending the adrenalin pumping raw nature of petty crime in Edinburgh. It's anti establishment doctrine which encompasses life on the edge of society, where heroin abuse is an outlet for a generation forgotten by middle class Europe, is captured perfectly by robust characters and cinematic shadows which play on the emotions of death and withdrawal. The story line of opportunity and betrayal is entwined with the dogmatic lives of these protagonists, victims of their own faith, struggling to escape their reality; they're caged to the ghosts of their youth.

​It's a film that you must see if you have lived long enough to appreciate the original. It's a road trip in chaos. There is a lot of symbolism, social commentary and throwbacks to the original to make this a pleasant journey. Maybe leave your 13 year old at home and remember sharing needles is not a good idea even if your Ewen McGregor, but choose life, choose popcorn, choose Vans, skinny jeans, and repeal the 8th t-shirts,  choose anti Trump retweets,  wasted votes, and hotel management, choose redemption, choose individuality, choose middle class hypocrisy, choose sun holidays, ski trips with your hipster friends, gift vouchers, and white chocolate mochas, choose passive aggression in the face of the alt right apocalypse, choose T2 Trainspotting for a bite of reality. 

Matt Damon’s Flashback saga continues with the straightforward title ‘Jason Bourne’.

Being a huge fan of the last four, yes all four, movies I couldn’t believe it when I heard this was in the pipeline. Looking back on how the original film single handedly reshaped the Bond franchise, or how spy movies became more mysterious and gritty in the 21st century, all thanks to an agent who couldn’t remember his name, I was sure this long anticipated Bourne instalment would take things to a new level faster than Keanu Reeves could fuck with the matrix.

But like most movies you look forward to seeing these days it was a complete let down. What made the previous Bourne movies such superior flicks was their edgy realism, a factor this chapter completely sidestepped. From the very opening and right through this film you can’t help but think, ‘wow, that was lame, was that meant to be a fight scene, you know he was impressive in Behind the Candelabra – wonder if he’s going to return to acting anytime soon’.

The plot is terrible to begin with, it factors in a very topical issue on cyber security compromising personal freedom, but then fails to really do anything with it or make a meaningful statement. It fails to build on a central character, Aaron Kalloor, with any real depth which is probably the biggest let down in the movie. The character Aaron Kalloor could have evolved the espionage element of the entire series by demonstrating the level of intelligence government agencies now have at their disposal, and perhaps make further assertions on how this information is gathered, collated and processed.

Regardless the Aaron Kalloor fiasco was a mere sub plot to the main storyline of Bourne crying over premature orphanism not unlike ‘Skyfall’s whingefest, which further disheartened the now growing feeling that this Bourne film was nothing more than a late cash in on an epic franchise.

Further tiresome moments included Bourne once again getting help from inside the agency from the lead female character, a ridiculous clichéd ploy to equate youthful femininity with an innate sense of good moral judgement. What’s even more aggravating is how polarised everyone in the movie is, there is so little dynamic in the agency after four movies, you’re either in complete shit and the only way out of the dog house is by killing Jason Bourne, or your an intern who has access to more Treadstone e-mails than Hillary Clinton and you decide to commit treason by dropping Bourne some breadcrumbs to get him out of harm’s way.

Another burnout factor is that you’re not likely to survive longer than twenty minutes unless your name is actually Jason Bourne, all characters are dispensable one dimensional drones who look and act like their predecessor, again diluting the realism and significance of the role characters play in the movies, which damages the franchises ability to build a world fans can truly dive into.

Perhaps if you like ridiculously silly car chase scenes that surpass the boundaries of reason, but you’re too heartbroken to watch old Paul Walker movies; you might get some guilt free kicks by fast forwarding through most of this movie.

Or if by chance you’ve never seen a movie where the good guy chases the bad guy down the wrong side of the motorway, narrowly avoiding oncoming traffic at full speed, you might consider this a poor film with average road rage compilations and a bonus Moby track at the end.
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However if you love the Bourne franchise and want to protect its reputation in a violent pub fight in New York City some night, don’t watch a single minute of this movie, or you could get it on DVD with some popcorn and stay out of New York for the rest of your life, but that’s a choice you’re going to have to make. 

So I was on my way to see Batman V Superman feat Wonderwoman last night and by some form of miracle the cinema was still showing Deadpool, and to be honest I’ve never really forgiven myself for letting this movie slip away. I had so many regrets about missing Deadpool and wondered what my life would have been like if I’d known the plot. Of course visions of being penciled in at the bottom of a waiting list at the video store kept me awake at night, although I haven’t rented a movie since my local chartbusters closed down, ah the days of listening to Dido as you relaxed on a tanning bed before flicking through a selection of Bruce Willis b-movies is something the kids will never appreciate, with their 3d goggles and avatar good-looks.

Deadpool is everything you can expect from a somewhat slapstick comic book movie with plenty of adolescent humour, which at times is hilariously crude, but unlike movies of this genre Deadpool doesn’t rely on the sex jokes as it has a catalogue of one liners and sarcastic commentary that will keep you laughing throughout.
Between the jokes and romance is wall to wall action, with each character coming up with new and wonderful ways to inflect pain on each other in every scene.
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I’m not sure the film has any deep and meaningful message, maybe something to do with second chances in life or something, but as entertainment this film definitely tops the likes of the Ted and Zoolander sequels. It’s very original and has a unique formula of comedy, its use of fourth wall breaks to criticise popular culture is comic and is definitely a contributing factor in what makes the movie so likable in my opinion. The revenge plot is a bit weak but the movie moves so quick between past and present that it barely relies on Deadpool's origins or motives and by the end of the film you will be well pleased with the journey. 

First of all ‘No’, just ‘No’ this is not a good movie. It’s an over the top farce which simply cashes in on a dusty franchise without building on the character, the insanity, or the cunning of Max Rockatansky.

The movie’s most interesting aspect is its opening where we get a taste of post apocalyptic life as Max is captured, inked and branded in a nightmarish city run by the evil lord Immortan Joe. The opening scenes feature mutations, deranged drug induced youths, fuel guzzling engines and a people enslaved by the control of water supply in a barren desert landscape.

What happens next is a very sandy two hour car chase, incorporating a desert storm of biblical proportions, a flame throwing guitar, victoria secret virgins, monster trucks, and various gangs which help give pursuit to the increasing escalation of nonsense.

The problem with the movie is that there is no realism, not that it hurts to be removed from reality in a science fiction movie, but what I mean is that the lead characters are indestructible despite several run ins with death throughout the movie. For the first twenty minutes Max is used as a Type O blood bag without so much as receiving a cookie, then he unflinchingly partakes in two hours of truck driving combat. There is no connection to Max or to the female lead Furiosa, we don’t know their motives, how they’ve both wound up at the citadel, where they’re going, how they intend to survive, and worse is that we don’t feel any empathy for them despite the severe lacerations they receive throughout. Ultimately the characters are sub material to a movie that concentrates on being loud and jam packed with adolescent fantasy. Although the landscape is vast the movie has no depth. There is no tension in the fight scenes, car chases truck, some meaningless extra gets killed, truck gets speared, car blows up, repeat for two hours, charge ten bucks a head, release to DVD.

For me the film fails to fire from both barrels, it’s more of a ‘Max and his moths’ kinda movie than the rage filled road warrior epic I was expecting. My only advice is if you go to see Fury Road don’t be afraid to walk, it never gets better, and don’t be fooled into thinking it’s nearly over, it’s not. Just get up off your seat, don’t apologise to the idiot beside you, kick them if you must, shout abuse if appropriate, just do whatever it takes to make your way to the green exit sign and go.

Most people will be happy to see the movie begins from where the trailer left off, one crucial decision to make behind the scope of the rifle of an American Sniper, does he take a life to save a life, and how will he live with his decision.

This isn’t your typical war movie, it’s aim is to take an artistic view of the shell shocked psyche of the American soldier in the aftermath of modern warfare, featuring everything from civilian control through terror techniques to war drone technology.

The problem with the movie is it takes you on the journey of one individual, Chris Kyle, who we follow with minute detail as he evolves from a boy, to a young man, to a husband, to a hero, to a war veteran with a troubled conscience. The problem with that is that the journey is slow moving and its transgressional nature makes it a bit hard to watch. It nearly punishes its audience into walking in the man’s shoes so that they can understand how the war actually impacts on his life.

The film has a lot going for it though, from the relaxed summer shots of family life in America, BBQ’s in green gardens, beers with friends, and the warm rush of hunting fields to the contrasting barren landscape of war torn Iraq.

The film also has a lot of realistic scenes that you’d expect from a war movie, like when Sienna Miller gets sick from drinking too much whiskey, if there is one thing I can’t stand in films these days it’s the amount of drinking that goes on without anyone falling over.

The film’s final scenes cleverly feature a well placed copy of B.F. Skinner’s ‘Science and Human Behaviour’ which is a precursor to behaviourism and explores possible ways in which human behaviour can be predicted and controlled. This one prop says a lot about why one American citizen decided to join a war fought on foreign soil, and his motivations to continue in a personal battle despite the emotional and physical impact it takes on the soldiers who fight with him. In that sense this is a story about Chris Kyle being caught in the eye of the storm, as it’s savage power desolates everyone around him.  That’s what gives the film a case for being an anti-war film, even though if you ask me an anti war movie is more like Dr Strangelove, The Last King of Scotland, or Gandhi.

The film’s plot also disappoints, part of the reason the movie is hard to watch is that there is a lack of storyline that boils down to a Marines version of Moby Dick.

The film lacks an entertainment factor and feels a bit like a blockbuster exploration into the psychological aftermath of war, which is an important statement as a generation of young Americans have been affected by this war, but most Europeans were not in favour of the war and void of the patriotic feelings that drive Chris Kyle (to protect Family, Country and God), so perhaps the movie has a select audience. If you’re already of the view that war should be avoided where sanctions can be implemented and if you’re already aware that war is more like Braveheart than Rambo then you’re not going to take anything away from the film. So congrats to Clint for making a war movie with some thought and the utmost respect to the boys who make up Team America but if you’re looking for a good evening at the cinema it doesn’t feature high up on the list as one to watch. 

If you’re thinking about going seeing this movie perhaps you should have a look through your VHS collection and pick out an old Seagal movie instead, because The Equaliser isn’t going to offer you anything that you haven’t seen before, in fact it is probably the most uninventive movie of the year.

The film starts out with your typical lone ranger character working a dead end job because he’s all washed up, but everyone knows he’s some kinda neurotic psycho with a secret past. The character development continues with a focus on Denzel’s OCD, apparently having a fixation on time and neatness is an essential trait in being a Hollywood death machine. However Denzel also has a sensitive side as he likes to read books, and for the target audience who have never seen the inside cover of any of the featured novels, of which Denzel manages to read one a day, this is enough to convince them that Denzel is quite smart – an intelligent bad ass.

Enter the femme fatale, aspiring singer Teri who’s sexual nature is immediately coined by her role as a prostitute. Now Denzel could keep his head down here, enjoy his cupan tae and finish his 92nd book in peace, after all I’m sure every black ops agent who has been around the block - to the point that they fake their own death in order to receive their P45, has seen enough bad things in the world to consider reporting local prostitution to the police, would it be so incomprehensible for the police to step in and hook the girl up with social services - where she might receive some counseling, a place to stay, maybe even some support in finding a job.

Of course Teri isn’t your standard run of the mill call girl, Denzel recognizes that she is a singer and sparks up some conversation, he begins to fall for the girl’s charms/personality but it also helps that she’s a total babe. In an unusual turn of events the hero decides to buy the girl from the head pimp for exactly $9,600 (dollars). Why? Is that what a girl is worth?, is it the cost of human traffic per head?, is this all the money Denzel has?, is it the cost of a year’s supply of choc ices?, we never find out. What I do know is that Denzel by passes the security of the Russian mafia to arrive unarmed in the head office of Russia’s number one pimp and takes out four armed mobsters before returning home to finish reading ‘The Ingenious Gentleman’.

Predictably in such a movie when you kill four members of the mob it sets off a chain of events that result in bigger fish wanting the lead character/hero killed with immediate effect. Denzel continues about his business completely unarmed throughout, good guys don’t need to carry guns, but as the violence escalates the mobsters bring bigger and bigger fire arms to the table, does it matter much, of course not, because Denzel is basically some kind of DC comics character for grown ups or knuckle heads to be more precise.

We eventually get the big Hollywood explosion scene with Denzel walking away while the fire erupts behind him, but by this point the ship has already sunk on the movie. There are no meaningful twists, moments of suspense, sub plots, or interesting characters, just 101 ways Denzel can kill a Russian gangster.

When the mafia guys eventually close in on Denzel we get to see him react like a one man A-Team, taking out a well armed group of men by using power drills and sticks of glue.

The movie ends with Denzel hunting down the crime boss, who is revealed to have some kind of hearing disability whereby he can hear everything up close perfectly fine but is completely unaware of gunshots fired in the perimeter around his home moments earlier.

All in all it's a rehashed movie script that just doesn't excite, not really worth leaving the house for.