The Champs Voice
  • The Champs Voice
  • Movie Reviews
  • More from the web
  • Other Voices
  • Ask The Champ
  • About

Divorce Sex

19/11/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
Joyce Rubotham has created something entirely new to the Irish blogosphere, a site which boldly covers a topic that still remains taboo in certain quarters of the country.

Irishdivorce.com is a site dedicated to the history of legal separation in Ireland, a struggle which had legal and moral repercussions in Irish society up until very recently.

Joyce is keeping a divorce diary to share her journey but is also looking to open up the conversation on the secrets behind divorce in Ireland. "The One Year Rule" is a great example of just how strange, unusual, and difficult the process is in this country. A process which is amusing in its absurdity and shocking in its severity. Enjoy:


The actual shame of it. May 2014, sitting in the solicitor’s office with my sister.
​
I knew that my marriage was over, not for the first time, but for the last time. This was it, I did not want to go back.

So I did the practical thing and sought legal advice.This was my First Visit with my Solicitor, I was a nervous wreck. Exhausted from the stress of the fighting with my husband and the worry of what would become of me and my children if I walked away from him.

I needed to hear a legal professional tell me, out loud that my husband could not walk away from the marriage and leave me with nothing. I took my sister because I needed her to hear the same so she could repeat it back to me afterwards.

I described my situation to the solicitor. My husband did not appear to want a divorce and would, I suspected fight the process to the bitter end. My solicitor was measured and sensitive, he explained to me that in cases where a couple cannot agree on the terms of separation then one party can apply to the court for a judicial separation.

From the get-go, it was obvious to me that this was the route I would have to take. After some discussion I instructed the solicitor that this option might the one for me and asked him how we should proceed from there. Then came the awkward silence.

He fudged around a bit with stuff on his desk.
​“I just need to ask you about something personal, would you like a glass of water? Would you like your sister to leave the room?”
“Oh jaysus” I thought and wondered where this was going. It was clear the man took no pleasure in having to ask me;

“When was the last time you and your husband were intimate?”

The shock and embarrassment of it.

This is the reality of our divorce laws. This is where we are at in 2018, solicitors are obliged to ask clients about their sex lives. I could not, it transpired apply for a judicial separation until one year after my last sexual encounter with my then husband.

Once you disclose this information to your solicitor, he/she will not be in a position to knowingly lie on your behalf or help you to lie. So please heed my advice, if/when your solicitor asks you this awful intrusive question.Take a deep breath and say this “I can’t remember”.
​
Go home and think about it before you answer, because it may have serious implications for the timing of your divorce.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Other Voices

    The Champ has only one voice, but the internet has many amazing writers and bloggers, so I'm opening up this page to contributors, you are all now welcome to add your opinion. 

    Archives

    March 2021
    November 2020
    October 2020
    June 2020
    October 2019
    July 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    July 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016

    Categories

    All
    Aine Mulloy
    Ann Hayden
    Anon
    Beanzie Flynn
    Caitlin Johnstone
    Chas Peeps
    Ciara Pollock
    Emma Rainey
    Estelle Birdy
    Fiachra Bissett
    HiredKnave
    Hugh Murphy
    Jane Carnall
    Jason Michael
    Jimi Kavanagh
    Joyce Rubotham
    Liam Cahill
    Mark Hoskins
    Mary McEneaney
    Matthew Widaw
    Nick Rabbitts
    Old Diesel
    Paul Gallagher
    Paul McCarrick
    Polly Molotov
    Ray McGrath
    Rebel.ie
    Richard Gallagher
    Soapbox
    Thomas G Clark
    Tony Groves
    William Wall

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.