One of the big questions was how far would CGI go or to put it bluntly at what point would too much CGI ruin the film industry. Well Tom Hooper answers this by introducing Cats the movie. This is the moment where CGI damned itself for all eternity.
That said to blame CGI as the sole reason for this nightmare inducing catastrophe would be entirely unfair. Quite frankly whoever thought making this movie was a good idea needs a reality check and a new career, sure it's got some tasty ingredients but it's a very bad recipe that turns out to be completely indigestible.
There are professionals involved in this movie that should have refused to take part and refused to sing and refused to deliver bad lines and most of all to have refused to simulate furry cat masturbation.
The sun is dead, Judi Dench needs to publicly apologize for singing, and Taylor Swift needs to accept that she's nothing more than a cheap Instagram influencer who conned people into buying a product that does humanity more harm than good.
Growing up I never dreamed of being a cat so going into this my expectations were low but I had high hopes that I would enjoy the merry adventure. However this is one fantasy that takes you nowhere but makes you want to leave everywhere.
It's a Frankenstein imagining of Dr Moreau's island where the plot is about animal DNA infused bi-humans competing on the cat xfactor for the prize of being ritually sacrificed for the chance to be reborn, like a bad berocca boost ad that subliminally promises to fix an incurable hangover but leaves you questioning life.
The movie was a complete letdown, it was as seasonal as a dull Christmas cracker joke instead of being the contender for a week long talking point special on the Niall Boylan show, the controversial bizarre bitchfest that it should have been.
No one has the magic to rescue this movie, not Jason Derulo, not Mr MakeItStopPlease, not Gandalf, nor Jennifer Hudson - despite some suggestions. This entire movie is a car crash with dead bodies everywhere. The big screen performance of 'Memory' is like the emergency wheel in the boot that remains intact, but to suggest that spare parts are a redeeming feature is sick and inhumane.
What ever could have been rescued is killed off by CGI capitalism that unrepentantly stabs any artistic presence this movie could have had through the eye with a poisoned corkscrew. Universal studio should do a full recall of Cats and put the film reels in a vault that no human can ever unlock. Don't see it, don't think about it, never tell your children what happened.